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Monday, February 24, 2014

Tips for Surviving Infertility


As I was trying to give my sister some advice it got me thinking back to my feelings of the beginning of infertility. I was thinking WHAT could I say to myself back then that could possibly be helpful with the knowledge I have now. So I came up with a few tips that I WISH someone would have explained to me when I was truly in the thick of it all. If I could even help one person out there with ONE of these tips then it would be worth taking the time to write it. When doing some research I found a blog post that wrote JUST what I was looking for. HERE is the original post I found - I am
 just adding to it some of my thoughts and experience.

1. Do your homework

I didn’t realize how little I knew about fertility until I was faced with infertility. You may know the basics of the birds-and-bees, but do you really understand the finer points of reproduction? Do you know what fertility treatments actually involve? There are so many fabulous resources.I can't tell you the amount of hours I spent doing research online. The more educated I was the more in tune with my body I felt. I suggest you start by seeking out a few credible, trustworthy resources and learn as much as you can. Some of my favorites are:
#infertility. I am so close, though .... each day gets harder ...


2. Seek out community

Infertility is more common that we think, but it can still be difficult to find others in your life who are willing to openly discuss it. You must be intentional about getting to know other people who have experienced it. If you don’t know of anyone in your “real life,” the internet is full of wonderful infertility communities. Do a Google search for “Infertility blogs” or “infertility forums” and you’ll find many wonderful sites. Or, check out some of the blogs of the wonderful women (and a few men!) who leave comments on my site. I have met some AMAZING friends online. Now that I know these women so well it feels strange I met them through my blog. This is the one thing in the beginning I WISH I would have had and didn't. Having a place to truly vent to people who understood was the best therapy for me. If you don't feel comfortable make up a name and start a blog- you don't have to use your true identity...in fact a lot of people don't and that's okay. The most important thing is to connect. 

Own your life. You've come a long way. Your story can make a difference in another person's journey.


3. Be patient with yourself

As cliche as it sounds, infertility is a journey. We don’t know how our infertility will be resolved, and we don’t know how long it will take. For some people, a few pills fix everything; others face years of IVF, surrogacy, or adoption. It’s easier said than done, but try be patient with the process and patient with yourself. It's okay to feel sad or have an off day. Give yourself credit and know that you are doing your best. I know I went through phases where moments I was angry and bitter and others I was sad and depressed and had no where to turn. Own those feelings and find ways to move forward. 

16 months and counting...Another disappointing day yesterday..so so sad/frustrating/disappointing seeing that negative test every month..ALMOST makes you just wanna give up!! #infertility #ttc


4. Try not to let it define you

Remember, you are going through the experience of infertility. You may be currently infertile in the sense that you cannot bear children, but the situation may only be temporary. And even if you never give birth, you are not an infertile being. You still have the ability to be fruitful in other areas of your life: your career, your marriage, your relationships, your faith, or your creative pursuits. Take this time to get to know yourself. Everyone does this differently.

 For me I had what I called a "self care" box. I still use this today when it's needed. On one of my better days I wrote a letter to myself reminding me that I'm going to get through this. I'm strong, I'm important, and beautiful. This may sound cheesy but on my lowest days these affirmations helped. In this "box" I had the letter, a put in there bubble bath stuff, stuff for a facial, a yummy recipe I wanted to try, scrapbooking stuff, cleaning supplies, scriptures, a good book, a funny movie, and ANYTHING I could think of that would help pull me out of a funk. I would do one or maybe ALL of these things to help make me feel better. 

SWEAR this helped! DO IT!!!

Infertility acceptance.


5. Improve your health

If you’re struggling with infertility, you’re likely spending lots of money and time trying to conceive. Make sure that investment isn’t going to waste and get yourself into the best physical shape you can. This doesn’t mean you need to start going to the gym every day if you haven’t been going at all. You don’t have to go vegan and eat only raw veggies. But take some common-sense steps to improve your health (which may also help you improve your emotions). Some simple ideas are limiting your caffeine and alcohol intake (if you drink), making sure you get enough sleep, cutting back on processed foods, and things like that. I know that this can be overwhelming and LOTS of work, but getting in shape and eating right (at least the basics) not only helps your body and mind prepare for pregnancy- it also get's your dopamine levels up and helps you to be happy. :) Again though remembering to ENJOY life and create balance. None of these things should be your only focus. The whole point of this post is to ENJOY the journey to the best of your ability.

 (A side note on this topic:  I never really tried yoga but have heard that has helped lots of girls with releasing bad energy and feelings- some have even said meditation is worth a try. I might give it a go this time around and let you know how it goes)

Too funny!!  Infertility sucks.


6. Don’t deprive yourself

Adding to my last comment. Be careful not to deny yourself pleasure or enjoyment in the name of improving your health. Have a piece of dark chocolate after a healthy dinner. Have a piece of pizza and follow it with a salad and an apple. Infertility it hard enough on its own; don’t make it worse by cutting out the things you enjoy. I remember for YEARS I wouldn't go in the Jacuzzi in fear that I "could" be pregnant. It literally drove me crazy to always live in fear I was going to screw things up. I'm here to tell you that doesn't work. You need to take care of yourself by ENJOYING what you can of your life. Out of all these tips this is the one I wish I could have told myself years ago. Every person dealing with infertility hates to hear it. Being calm won't make you get pregnant...but it will help you enjoy the time you are waiting a lot more. The one thing I hate ALMOST as bad as infertility- is the years that it stole from my life. Don't let that happen to you! Trust me it's not worth it. 


What I wouldn't give for a little morning sickness. #infertility


7. Don’t let others tell you how to feel

One of the most frustrating things about infertility is that people will often tell you how to feel. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll happen if it’s supposed to.” Or, “Don’t be too upset about your miscarriage. It was so early and it happens to a lot of people.” As well-intentioned as those comments may be, they hurt and they’re not helpful. It’s not necessary to respond rudely to those kinds of comments, but don’t take them to heart. Your experience is valid and your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone tell you how or how long you should grieve.  

Of course it is #ohip4ivf #onpoli


8. Cultivate other interests.

Infertility has the potential to be all-consuming, so try to develop some outside interests. Your hobbies can provide a healthy distraction and keep you from becoming too focused on your struggles. Read books, take up painting, watch an entire TV series on Netflix, learn a foreign language- just do something!

Infertility

9. Nurture your relationship with your significant other

Infertility will either bring you closer together or put significant strain on your relationship. Do everything you can do nurture your relationship. Recognize that each of you may process the experience and express your emotions differently. Be intentional about spending time together and doing the things you enjoyed before you started trying to conceive. After all is said and done your husband will always be your best friend if you allow it. 

Infertility, IVF making marriage stronger through trials

10. Get professional help if you’re struggling

None of this is easy. Each of these ten commandments can be intensely difficult and it’s not good to do it alone. Don’t be afraid to find help from a therapist, counselor, or clergy member. Find someone else to talk to if they tell you “Just relax.” Ask your doctor or friends for referrals, and ask about sliding scale fees if finances are an issue. I am not afraid to say that my husband and I spent a lot of hours in counseling both as a couple and separately to help us to work through this together. To this day the tips and tools we learned are priceless. Don't be ashamed to get help. 

AMEN!  If I had a nickel for every time someone told me this, I could pay all of my infertility doctor bills!  HA!   Infertility is a disease... just like diabetes or cancer. #infertility #pcos #knowthefacts


I would LOVE to hear if this was helpful. Also I would love to hear what has helped you out during the most difficult of times. Or for those that have dealt with this for a long time- what would you say to yourself in the beginning of all this if you could now with your experience? This is a lifelong journey for so many of us. Writing these has helped me to reevaluate what I can do today to help enjoy my time while I work on baby number two. :) 


Hopefully this doesn't come across as - DO THIS and you will get pregnant too...or DON'T DO THIS or nothing you try will work. Truth is- every journey is different- and I had to learn a lot of this on my own the hard way to gain experience. Hopefully one or two of these though are helpful to some of you over time. 

You are not crazy. Infertility makes us feel and think things that others consider obsessive and crazy.

22 comments:

  1. I wish I had had this list when my own journey began! I think the best thing for me was finding this community because I didn't know anyone going through IF offline. It was both inspiring and humbling to read what others were going through, and it helped a lot to know I wasn't alone! I sometimes wish the journey hadn't been quite so difficult, but I'm so thankful for the results (and that I got to meet you and your gorgeous family!)

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  2. You are amazing! You should be a motivational speaker! :) I have sent this on to some people I know are struggling. I'm sure it will help. And maybe one day they can meet you and you can help inspire them through this rough time. :) Very well said!!

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  3. Thanks for this! I've had to stop wondering about the "what ifs" and just realize that I can't put my life on hold. The box was a great idea! I think I need to do that. This has helped so much!

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  4. Wow tis is amazing! I am so happy I found your blog
    www.mommy-dreaming.blogspot.com

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  5. Fertile Body Method is a good new way to get conceived for most mothers and females should implement this technique for fruitful results.

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  6. I wish I had this when I started my journey! I will pass it on to friends on theirs. Also, I wanted to pass on some information, my husband and I have a little boy! He is 6 days old and we have never been more in love!

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  7. tips for getting pregnant I have got some new information here. I will book mark it.

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  8. Glad to be here! I believe infertility can be overcome. You just have to make sure that you are getting all the help that you need. It would be best to have a support system. best volume pill review

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  9. ATTN!!!
    I'm very happy to inform ya all that all hope isn't lost at all. this message is to the BARREN WOMEN, IMPOTENT MEN, and any one in-need of the fruit of the WOMB.
    My NAME is Sarah Nolan from the STATES.
    I was Married for about 18 years and was unable to conceive. i have done series of Test and the Result was that i wont be able to bear any CHILD because i was BARREN.
    I cried and cried because my Husband threatened to get married to someone else. I shared my marriage story with my parent in France and they told me about a spell caster that help auntie MISSIE cast a pregnancy spell when she needed a male child. i contacted the spell caster and told him about my BARRENNESS.
    Just within 2 days, He prepared a Cleansing spell rival and sent it to me which i applied and felt a big changes in my body.
    2 months later, i was pregnant and i gave birth just 1 week ago. am not yet strong but i wish to inform you all about him. if you need his help you can email him on greatlindaspells@gmail.com or drlindaspells@outlook.com or greatlindspells@yahoo.com
    WARMS REAGRDS`

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  10. Infertility can cause too much discomfort among couples. It would be very important to seek medical help as early as possible.

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  11. very helpful Tips for Surviving Infertility you have shared..

    infertility clinic

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  12. hello everyone, i am here to share my testimony on how i conceived my baby. i have been married to my husband for 18years without no issue. my husband has been tested OK, i too have been tested. but no issue. i had problems with my in-laws even my husband started to have new affairs aside your marriage. it was a very terrible thing to bear. i became a laughing stock among my pear, i prayed and fasted and nothing happened. i was now seen as always unhappy. after many medical treatment and there is no way. i took it as i was born barren and i accepted every challenge that comes my way. i was even ready to pack out of my marital home and stay on my own because my husband was not given me any attention that i needed from him. i decided to focus on my job and try to live happy on my own.
    on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr EDIONWE helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me. he casted a pregnancy spell on me and i noticed i was pregnant on the 7th day after the spell. i am a happy mother, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email edionwesolutiontemple@gmail.com. This is the solution to every single mother around the globe. distance is not a barrier, he will surely make your dreams come trough. contact him today via email: edionwesolutiontemple@gmail.com. you want your lover back or any other miracle in your life, contact him today so the world can be a better place to live. bye!!!

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  13. Thanks to Dr. Wakina for giving me the opportunity to test from his Power. I was wondering why most successful people talk more about him even in my neighborhood on how he has been bringing back ex-lovers and making them achieve their lost opportunities and being successful. I doubted some enough until when I tried his power last month via his email.
    Dr. Wakina cast a reunion spell and bring back my “JARK” after three months of our separation within 3days that he promised. Everything he did was like a movie in my eyes; it was so fast and effective. I felt a strong power in me when he was casting the spell which made me stronger in spirit to invite Frank’s spirit back to me.
    I don’t have much to say, but to keep thanking him and telling people how I got the love of my life back and how I also go my dream job through his power which he promised. Please stop doubting and give him a try and see for yourself, open up your heart and focus on all the instructions from him and you will see results on your door post. Contact him today and see the miracle of his spell via wakinaspellhome@yahoo.com or his website http://drwakinaspellhome.webs.com

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  14. My name is Camille bruno Valdez my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will either conceive in February 2014 or March 2014,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine,

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  15. i think am the happiest man on this earth,i want to share the reason why am so happy five years back i have been going from one hospital to another because of my issue of not been able to make my wife pregnant and i gave up because the doc.said thati will nt b able to do that i shld jst adopt a child,then when i opened up to my wife she told me about one spell cast man called DR OKON and i reluctantly agreed with her and after i communicated with he told me with assurance that i can make my wife if only i can trust and believe in him and obey everything he is going to tell me and do as he will and i did everything he requested,a month later my wife took in and my doctor was surprise,today am a father and am the happiest man on earth with the help of this man called DR OKON THE SPELL CASTER.what ever you are passing through just contact him bece he is capable and good and he can solve your problem no matter hard you think it is, contact him via email (okonspelltemple@hotmail.com) or phone+2347059498969

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  16. i think am the happiest man on this earth,i want to share the reason why am so happy five years back i have been going from one hospital to another because of my issue of not been able to make my wife pregnant and i gave up because the doc.said thati will nt b able to do that i shld jst adopt a child,then when i opened up to my wife she told me about one spell cast man called DR OKON and i reluctantly agreed with her and after i communicated with he told me with assurance that i can make my wife if only i can trust and believe in him and obey everything he is going to tell me and do as he will and i did everything he requested,a month later my wife took in and my doctor was surprise,today am a father and am the happiest man on earth with the help of this man called DR OKON THE SPELL CASTER.what ever you are passing through just contact him bece he is capable and good and he can solve your problem no matter hard you think it is, contact him via email (okonspelltemple@hotmail.com) or phone+2347059498969

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  17. BE CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX OR LOVE BACK,ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTER HERE MUST BE IGNORE.BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE SCAM I MEAN REAL SCAM WHICH I WAS A VICTIM AND I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY WIFE BACK AFTER SHE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2 YEARS WITH MY 7 YEARS OLD SON JERRY,I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME DDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM WEST AFRICA UNTIL I SAW A POST ABOUT MAMA ANITA SPELL AND I DECIDED TO GAVE HER MY LAST TRAIL.SHE ASK ME FOUR THINGS MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND $380 AND SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN 24HOURS, I HAVE PAID OVER $3000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAVE WORK FOR ME AFTER 3 DAYS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR SO I SAID LET ME GIVE HER A TRY SO I CALLED HER AGAIN AND SEND MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND THE $380 BECAUSE I SWEAR IT WAS MY LAST TRY SO I WAS WAITING AS SHE TOLD ME TO WAIT TILL NEXT DAY AND I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE MY WIFE AND WANT HER BACK AT 9PMTHAT DAY I SAW MY WIFE ON LINE ON FACE BOOK AND SHE SAID HI AT FIRST I WAS SHOCK BECAUSE SHE NEVER TALK WITH ME FOR THE PAST A YEAR AND 9 MONTH NOW I DID NOT REPLY AGAIN SHE SAID ARE YOU THERE? I QUICKLY REPLY YES AND SHE SAID CAN WE SEE TOMORROW I SAID YES AND SHE WENT OFF-LINE I WAS CONFUSED I TRY TO CHAT HER AGAIN BUT SHE WAS NO MORE ON LINE I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AS I WAS WONDERING WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY, BY 7.AM THE NEXT MORNING SHE GAVE ME A MISS CALL I DECIDED NOT TO CALL BACK AS I WAS STILL ON SHOCK AGAIN SHE CALL AND I PICK SHE SAID CAN WE SEE AFTER WORK TODAY I SAID YES SO SHE END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY I GOT OFF WORK SHE CALL ME AND WE MEET AND NOW WE ARE BACK AGAIN I CALL MAMA ANITA THE NEXT DAY THANKING HER FOR WHAT SHE HAS DONE IN FACT I STILL CALL HER AND THANK HER AS MY LIFE WAS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT MY WIFE PLEASE BE CAREFUL HERE I HAVE BEEN SCAM THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU WANT A TRUE LOVE SPELL THEN CONTACT MAMA ANITA (mamaanita.lovespellsolution@gmail.com) or mama.anitaspellcraft@hotmail.com website http://kelvinlargemyself.wix.com/anita

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  18. Husband left me and my kids, i was passing though pains, sorrow, heartbroke, going crazy but this is how i restored happiness back in my life by getting my husband back. I’m Tiffany Wilson from UK. I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband with two kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of Dr Frank Ojo a spell caster. So, If you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you, Thanks to Dr Frank Ojo for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again, so here his email address { Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com } Website address: http://lovespell2.yolasite.com, His Mobile number: +234)80- 7237-0762, He is a super natural Human and he is the best spell caster online contact him if you have any problem.

    E-mail: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com .
    Web site: http://lovespell2.yolasite.com .

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  19. Hello, i am Jessica Wayne from TX, USA. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children I am so happy to get my Ex back through the help of Dr Noble the spell caster . My greatest surprise was that 48 hours after the Doctor prepared the spell for me, my husband who has abandoned me for 4 years suddenly called me unexpectedly and am so happy that we have come to become one again through the help of Dr Noble and am so happy to be with my husband once again. Dr Noble is a very wonderful spell caster, you can contact him if you need his assistant because i know he can also help you. contact him through his email: templeofjoyandprosperity@gmail.com or call him on +2349039520524 immediately

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  20. BEST LOVE SPELL TO GET BACK YOUR EX: URGENT LOVE SPELL CHECK ON DR. TRUST WEB SITE NOW
    https://ultimatespellcast3.wixsite.com/dr-trust

    My Husband left me and my kids, i was passing though pains, sorrow, heart broke, going crazy,but this is how i restored happiness back in my life by getting my husband back. today with great joy and happiness. I came across a website that suggested that Dr Trust can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. In my heart i want to appreciate Dr Trust for bringing back my lost husband within 48hours after the spell was cast by him. My husband is back to us since Dr. Trust did the love spell. I am so happy that my Ex husband is back again. Once again thank you Dr. Trust, You are truly a great man. I and my family are living together happily again.. He is true to his word and he is here to help mankind. he is the realest of all spell caster online. he is Dr Trust. You can reach him on his email address or website for any help you may need.

    Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com
    Web site: https://ultimatespellcast3.wixsite.com/dr-trust
    Call him +2348156885231

    ReplyDelete
  21. Special thanks to the great spell caster called Dr Jatto, who have brought joy to me with his powerful spell, for more than 15months now me and my wife has been separated, since then i have done everything within my powers, i have visited severally places but all my efforts were wasted,until i saw a post of Dr Jatto restoring ex lover back, financial blessing and many more, and i decided to contact him and after writing to him on his email:drjattolovespelltemple@gmail.comordrjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk and after he gave me procedures on how he will help me he cast a love spell for me and that was how i got m wife back to me, contact Dr Jatto on his website:http://drjattolovespellte.wixsite.com/spelltemple or his mobile:+2347050270268.,

    ReplyDelete
  22. I GIVE ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS WITH HIS HERBAL PORTION I WAS COMPLETELY CURED FROM FIBROID
    I can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all fibroid patient in the world. i never believed that their could be any complete cure for fibroid with out going for surgery ,i saw people’s testimony on blog sites and Facebook page of how Dr Williams prepare herbal cure for different king of disease,and with the help of his herb they where able to shrink there fibroid naturally. i had to try it too and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually . Right now i want to tell you all that i just give birth to a baby boy last month,and on thin now i have not had any pain, and i have just went for text last week and the doctor confirmed that there is no trace of any fibroid in my system . Glory be to God for leading me to this great Dr Williams I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no herbal cure for fibroid that is Not true ,just contact him and get cure from his email drwilliams098765@gmail.com and you will be free and free forever, Try it and you will not regret it because it truly works. i hope to see your testimony soon.

    ReplyDelete