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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Less than 100 Days to GO!!!!!

I can't believe my countdown is less than 100 days now! Get's me SOOOO excited just thinking about it it's going WAY TO FAST though. At this rate I think I will be wanting the baby to stay in as long as possible. I just got home from our babymoon a few weeks ago and am slowly but surley getting all my pictures uploaded- I had an AMAZING time but am ready to be home and working on Declan's room again. :)

To see most of my first weeks pictures of the babymoon go HERE. Here is my week 26 picture my hubby took on Monday (our last day on the cruise) Please ignore the ugly sports bra and saggy boob- didn't realize what it looked like till I got home- lol. You get the idea though right?? I grew...a lot. 5 pounds about actually in 2 weeks! hahaha! I finally gained some weight and it was ALL on my vacation- eating 8 meals a day will do that to you I suppose. Declan LOVED vacation- kicked me all the time! :) I had to go back to work today and I think he was confused about the whole no napping thing in the middle of the day and 8 meals coming in a day...or maybe I was just confused. I already miss that part. :) I feel like SO much has happened in 2 weeks for all of you- A few of you have HAD your babies, some still playing the waiting game, and even a few BFP which is so exciting! I will give a better update hopefully next week after my Dr.'s appt Monday- the GLUCOSE appt...dun dun dun. :) Hope everyone had an amazing few weeks! Excited to be back and hear all of your updates. :)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

extended vacation

I am posting from my ipad so we will see how this goes! I wanted to post a quick update that my babymoon has officially been extended one week later. We last minuite decided to book a cruise headed out from San Juan Puerto Rico. I am super excited since lets face it cruise plus pregnant woman equals pure bliss. Im sure I will be nice and plump when I return with LOTS of pictures to share! I wont have access to any internet so all you babies trying to come early stay put! Still praying for each of you! I am loving every moment out here...Declan is too!! He has been kicking me nonstop! Hope everyone has an amazing week! Excited to hear all your updates when I get back.:]

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Quick Update/ Level 2 Ultrasound

You can see in the above picture the white calcium spot on his heart they were concerned about. And below was a cool shot of his spine.

And my favorite of course- Introducing my little buddy Declan. I think he's dang cute already weighing in at 1.6 pounds!

I thought I would give a quick update On Declan before I leave out of town. I'm so sorry to those of you I din't return calls and texts to this morning- it has been a bit chaotic as you can imagine. We left for our appointment at 8 am this morning and the appointment was literally 3 hours long which I didn't expect! The ultrasound itself was an hour long and then we had to wait for the Dr to come in and talk to us. I was somewhat a nervous wreck. Plus my son decided that he wanted to cover his face THE WHOLE time again. I wanted to cry. He moved for about.2 seconds and out of 130 pictures on my dvd she gave me 4 of them were of his face. Goodness. Stubborn boy I tell you! He did yawn twice which was probably the cutest thing I have ever seen on ultrasound, but she didn't catch it on video.

The doctor finally came in and talked 100 miles per minuite. All I kept hearing over and over was "down syndrome." Of course my heart sank and was trying my best to understand everything she was saying. She honestly spoke faster than anyone I had ever met! So rude to talk to parents that way that are a nervous wreck and have NO clue what she is talking about. Then she said we had 3 options. #1. was toget some blood work that is REALLY expesive (like 2 grand) which will give us 99% surety of him having down syndrom. #2 Do the amino testing which can result in a 1/400 chance of miscarriage but again tell us for sure results. And THEN she continues to say at that point if we decided to abort we could still do that in some states (WHAT THE FREAK!?!!!) I was in total shock. THEN of course the last one was #3. Take your chances and not worry about it since he has a 1/300 chance of having down syndrome. hmmmm. DUH! Take my chances lady! Are you crazy?! Goodness- she even KNEW I had done in vitro to get pregnant. Why in the world you would leave that option for last I have NO idea.

Good News is that his kindeys looked in normal range for his size. Not even considered dialated anymore (in fact one was smaller than what his last ultrasound showed.) I guess this is pretty common for boys anyways. Also the calcium spot on his heart shouldn't cause him ANY issues at all. Chances are he will be a super healthy little baby boy. He was showing 4 days smaller than his due date- which made sense considering my in vitro Doctor swears my due date (since he IS the one who implanted me) is the sixth of June not the fourth. With that he would be two days behind on growth (normal range is anywhere within ten days at this point) He was 1.6 pounds. A little small but NOTHING to be worried about. I am super happy with how things turned out today. I have decided not to do the amino or the bloodwork- we will love this boy the same no matter what. I am just grateful that I was blessed with such an amazing gift. We should be doing another ultrasound later on to check his size but that's about it! I'm a happy mamma today!!! :) Have a great week everyone and THANK YOU for your prayers and support! All the prayers worked!! :)

Monday, February 13, 2012

24 Weeks (6 MONTHS!) V Day

How Far Along: I am confused at this. 24 weeks for sure. I have NO clue on the months part though- every website is different. Most say I am now six months (some say I was 6 months 2 weeks ago) What in the world! Either way OH. MY. GOSH! I’m 6 months ALONG! YAY! And if my baby decides to come early he is now a VIABLE baby. Not sure how 23 weeks is much different than 24- but in Dr.’s terms he is now a baby!

Symptoms: BACKACHES (my belly must be getting bigger), Bruised Rib- I swear he kicked my rib and bruised it…it hurts, headaches, random nausea, Sleep issues, and bending over is getting TOUGH these days.

Braxton Hicks: This is embarrassing. I have been having these for over a month now- had NO idea! Haha! I though that the baby would just move his body WAY up high which was making my tummy REAL hard. Nope- Braxton Hicks…quite a few actually. They don’t hurt though- just feels strange. At least I think that's what they are now...

Baby: Baby is about 13 inches long now. Probably about a pound and a half. Baby's got a fully developed inner ear now. This means his sense of balance is working and he can tell whether he's hanging upside down or right side up. He is kicking me like crazy now- Jonny is FINALLY feeling him a lot. I even took a video of him kicking and can see it on the outside of my belly now. I will save you from watching the video of my white belly for now. :)

Looking forward to: My next appointment! I have my ultrasound tomorrow and then 3 weeks after that I see my doctor for the dreaded Glucose Test. (I wouldn’t say I am looking forward to that part) I am obviously a tad bit nervous for tomorrow but more excited than anything to see him and hopefully get pictures if he decides to show his face and not be shy!

Me: Found out my uterus is around the size of a watermelon- this sounds about right.

Cravings: MILK-but Jonny says it has too many hormones and will hardly ever buy me the good stuff. He get’s me almond milk and nasty stuff like that…LAME. I also was craving a chocolate cake with my favorite rainbow chip icing- so I made one and ate almost the whole thing myself…haha! DELISH.

Updates on Room: Slowly but surley working on stuff. I made these ribbon trees for his room and have a tutorial on how I did them HERE if you are interested.

I will be in beautiful San Juan Puerto Rico tomorrow- enjoying LOTS of delicious foods and playing on the beach! Hope everyone has a good week! And for those in the hospital still right now KEEP your babies in as long as you can! Praying for you DAILY!

Updated Belly Shot taken today in the ladies restroom at work. Nasty I know. It was the best I could do today for 24 weeks. Don't worry- everyone will get a nice bare belly picture next week since the only swimsuit I fit into is a bikini. I figure baby Declan needs to get his Rays too :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Debbie Downer

I’m sorry I have been a little MIA this week. I'm reading your blogs (PROMISE) just haven't commented. I have been OVERLY busy at work, a little stressed about little Declan, and just plain exhausted this week. I must say my trip to Puerto Rico is in LESS THAN ONE week and couldn’t be better on timing. SO NEEDED. Do you guys watch the Bachlorette? I do...they went here a few weeks ago and it got me so excited! (Courtney is CRAZY by the way if you follow:) This is where I will be!!!

I can’t wait to just hang out on the beach and look nice and fat.

I’m sorry for being so dramatic on my last post. No mom wants to hear ANYTHING could be wrong with your baby and I just needed a day to be sad. I think as an infertile we are SO cautious to get excited- and just WAIT for something to go wrong because you can’t accept that something GOOD is finally coming. I felt guilt. That I MUST have done something wrong to hurt him (Not eating enough greens, taking medication for nausea and headaches, ect..) And then I realized I HAD to let go of that.

I read through my old posts the day after I wrote that…you know the ones where I was JUST starting my in vitro process. I was SO excited – couldn’t WAIT to finally (hopefully) get a BFP sign. All the sudden everything I have been worried about over the past week didn’t matter. It literally melted away all those scary feelings. This baby is going to be SO incredibly loved no matter what! It’s actually ridiculous how much attention he will get from his mom and dad- I’m sure of it. He will be spoiled beyond belief and and we can’t wait to meet him! Last night Jonny was SO excited- he would push on my tummy and Declan would punch him back real hard...he is already so smart! Hahaha!

After days of waiting the level 2 ultrasound place FINALLY called. The appointment is set for Tuesday morning RIGHT before I leave on a plane to the Caribbean. I can’t wait to see his little face again. Of course I’m nervous…but excited as well now that I’m feeling a little better. Dang pregnancy hormones mixed with scared mom feelings equals Debbie Downer for a few days. Debbie Downer is out now and I am ready to get back to focusing on the positive. (Things I can control) I ordered the pottery barn crib yesterday so almost ALL his furniture is done and Jonny started painting swatches on the wall. We have LOTS to do in just a mere few months. For now I am going to enjoy my newest craving (chocolate milk) and work on this little lad's room.

I am choosing the darker gray (the one on the right for the bottom) and also the very light aqua blue on the far right for the top! Can't wait!!!

Thank you SO much for all your thoughts and prayers for little Declan by the way! Not sure where I would be without this amazing community of support! Love you all!!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

A Bad Case of the Monday's

I have been in a bad mood today. A case of the Monday's times 100. Those dang pregnancy hormones REALLY caught up with me. :( I was SOOOOO extremely excited for my ultrasound this morning (nervous) but excited! I couldn't wait to get a picture of my cute man's little face and see him squirm around on the big screen. This seems petty now to even feel this way - but I was SO sad he covered his face the whole dang time. He was NOT in the mood to get his picture taken. I even ate a donuts and orange juice to make sure all that sugar would get him such luck. That was 8:00 this morning. I walked out with not ONE picture...and so my Monday began.

I went in for my follow up with the Doctor just waiting to hear GOOD news at least. All that REALLY matters was that my son was healthy and safe. Instead he told me they will be calling me for a level 2 Ultrasound (from an external place) in the next few days to take more pictures of Declan's heart and kidneys. He said they were "dialated." Also this time mentioned the spot on the heart can be a "soft marker" for down syndrome.

I again couldn't register anything but the positive things he said for the most part at the appointment. (This always happens till I get to work and start researching too much online) He was measuring EXACTLY 23 weeks today. He is 1.3 pounds now! My uterus and cervix are right on track. I gained a whole 2 POUNDS now this pregnancy. Not bad since I gained that all in the last 3 weeks or so.

Maybe I am just tired, and my headache is getting to me, or I'm frustrated about my son not showing his face, or his results not coming back as I planned...but I AM GRUMPY today and emotional. I think I made the MASSIVE mistake of telling a few coworkers about the results who gave me the "Oh no face" that freaked me out more. So I researched online which was NO good.

My Doctor didn't seem to concerned about the heart spot, so I immediately started researching the kidneys. I found stories of babies having to go through surgery their first week of life and was starting to freak out a bit. I also read that the kidney thing CAN ALSO be a soft marker of down syndrome. My mom called me right then and asked how it went and I broke down. Started crying and said I couldn't talk (Then she freaked out). It was just a roll of events that were probably unnecessary.

I called my Doctor twice trying to get more answers to my questions. Dr. Huish was the one to call me (again- sort of freaked me out HE called) He said I REALLY need to just sit back and relax till my level 2 ultrasound is done since that is what's for. I got to ask him the questions I missed. One kidney was dialated to 4 cm the other to 6 cm. One was only slightly dialated, the other was obviously worse. I also went ahead and asked him if that TOO was a marker for downs. It was. He said it's still SLIGHT. Of course when I read online though it said ONE marker gives a .5 % chance while 2 markers it jumps to 10%. My heart was heavy. I called my husband to tell him and broke down again. He was calm and level headed and told me to just have peace to know that our son will be perfect no matter what. If it's down syndrome we will love him just the same. If it's kidney issue's we will work through it. My sister passed away at age 24 from kidney failure so then I freaked out that it was hereditary or something. My mind is just going a million miles a minute and won't slow down. I know it it needs too. I know everything will be fine. I do know that, but it still always hurts to know that something COULD be wrong. I can't help but stress. I look at some of you amazing girls on bed rest and realize my situation doesn't even compare the slightest bit. I just can't seem to get rid of this aching feeling I have today. Level 2 ultrasound needs to hurry, because I could really use some reprieve.

Friday, February 3, 2012

So NOT Okay!!!

I am not one to follow much on politics- but can't help but feel hot and flustered on this topic I ran across on a fellow infertiles blog. Have you read this??? The government has taken enough from us- they better NOT take away the right to doing in vitro fertilization. It's so hurtful to hear that the ONLY way I could have possibly conceived is being looked at as immoral. Not a fan of this guy... just sayin.

On another note: PLEASE PRAY for both TTC BabyE and Emily who are both on bed rest very early in their pregnancies in fear of delivering their twins and triplettes early. Praying for you both daily!!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

22 Week Update

Baby Size: About 11 inches (I whole pound!) About as long as a pack of oreos and as heavy as a bag of tortilla chips! Or from another site he is as big as a squash! Haha- still makes me laugh it's always compared to food!

Baby: My little boy is busy touching his face and starting to understand "touch" He can hear outside the womb- in fact if he hears something loud it will startle him and can even cause him to cover his ears (AHHHH SO CUTE!!!!) They say mommies voice can be soothing so I tried actually talking to him the other day and he started MOVING! So cute! It's such an amazing bond to make!

His hair has no pigment or color right now but is growing if he's going to have hair! :) He can even taste strong flavors in the amniotic fluid now because of his little taste buds. He may even grimace if he doesn't like the flavor of something- makes me wonder if all that hot sauce at taco bell isn't a good idea :) His lungs are also starting to develop. He also has a sleep cycle of about 12 hours a day.
Symptoms: Bach aches, some nausea still, headaches, Growing pains, all the normal stuff :) I am feeling just really grateful right now and excited. I should be more nervous for my ultrasound in a few days- for some reason I feel at peace that everything is going to be okay and can't wait to see how Declan has changed in this past month!

If you want updates on our anniversary click HERE...or our Vegas trip click HERE.

Today my best friend, my sister, and I went to lunch to plan the baby shower- I still don't believe that it's MY baby shower- so strange. Not gonna lie- been feeling kind of anxious about this whole shower thing anyways. All of my close friends have had LOTS of babies and I was too stuck in my infertility crap to go to their showers. It wasn't that I wasn't happy- or didn't want to celebrate- more that I was a nervous wreck I would fall apart and start crying half way through it. I also felt so incredibly left out. Again- no one's fault at all. If they would ask how I'm doing all I could say was "Just working- ya know the same old stuff." I have this fear of no one showing up at my shower since I was hurt too bad to go to anyone elses. My anxiety tends to get the best of me in any situation. I am trying SO hard to just let it go and just enjoy every moment right now. Any of you infertiles relate to this?!!

As for a belly pic- I will post one on Monday along with updates on Declan! This one was taken last week for week 21 and please ignore my p.j's. Although they are the most comfy p.j's in the whole world and I wear them almost every night!

But the belly is getting bigger and my belly button is slowly flattening out. I'm pretty sure there is NO way I couldn't have gained a good 5 pounds after all the food I ate the past few weeks! Things are moving right along :)