This Month

This month was the month I SHOULD have brought home baby #2. It's a strange feeling. I wonder what this baby would be like, what life would be with this little one around. I wonder what happens to their tiny spirits when they don't make it very far like this one. I have decided to not focus on getting pregnant right now. I'm not NOT trying obviously- but timing everything just makes me a little crazy. It brings back bad feelings for me- and makes me realize how much my body doesn't work on this end of things. My cycles are back to being screwy, my weight is up, and I am feeling pain on my ovaries A LOT. Brief way to put it- PCOS is back in full force. Instead of focusing on my pcos my focus will be on health. I want to get as healthy as I can before I try to do in vitro again. I'm SO super nervous to do in vitro again because I feel like with frozen embryos it's a lower chance of working. EEK! So- I got myself a running partner in crime. We both had babies this past year and want to get in shape- PERFECT! I am guessing we will want to look at doing another round in maybe 6 months. I am excited to GET excited about all this again. Right now I don't feel that- so I know it's not time. I want to just enjoy my time with Deklan right now. This time no crazy crash dieting- just life changes. It's hard to do with traveling but totally possible. SO...here we go. I am doing lots of updates with pictures on the other blog! :) We have been BUSY! Hope everyone had a good Easter!!!