Hey guys I'm back! Today is my first day I have had a few hours to myself- and it's my husbands birthday! I am an awesome wife and sent him away golfing. (Sounds like more of a gift to me to get a few hours alone but I swear he likes it!) We have been out of town and when we finally got home we bought a house!! That has had us running ALL over getting ideas on what we want to do to this new place :)
All of the sudden out of nowhere I have been getting THE QUESTION- the one I despised hearing before having Deklan- When are you guys gonna try for number two?? Okay I don't HATE the question as much anymore- but I do feel the pressure. Truth is we were never really preventing. This month is the first month I can honestly say we are "trying." Meaning attempt to count days of the month and such. Because of our previous experience I get nervous counting days. I don't like the idea of testing at the end of the month and possibly getting a negative pregnancy test. Strange thing is if I was still pregnant right now and had not miscarried I would have another newborn here in 20 weeks. Crazy to think about, and I honestly try not to.
So here we are again. The infertility thoughts of being inadequate are slowly creeping in. My plan is to count days and track my cycle for a few months and see how it goes. I have been regular since Deklan which is totally abnormal for me. If it doesn't work we will go back to the fertility specialist for round two of in vitro. The thought I could get pregnant again in the next year excites me now! I am excited to experience it all over again. I would kinda like to skip this part and go straight to in vitro. It's SO SO hard on your body- but trying to get pregnant the old fashioned way is SO SO hard on your emotions. With in vitro it's all science. The natural way of trying to get pregnant is scary territory for me. Truth be told I am the happiest I have ever been in my life so I hate to ruin it with trying again. At the same time I WANT MORE BABIES! Deklan is amazing! More amazing than I could have imagined- and I am grateful to have such a precious miracle. I have watched so many of you have your miracle babies, and some of you still struggle or are newly pregnant. This has been such a crazy ride- who's in for round 2???? 2 weeks till my next period....I already feel drained.
Surprise update: Final divorce edition.
6 days ago